Learning about right and wrong
by bloomandgrow
Summary: (Updated for Holocaust Remembrance Day) 'Whoever saves one life saves the world entire.' As Marta's relationship with her father blossoms, and the Captain and Maria become closer, she starts to understand from them the difference between right and wrong. Events unfold which bring the issues far too close to home for her. Written from Marta's point of view.
1. Chapter 1

Everyone says Father is wrong, even Frau Steinhauser my teacher, and she knows everything and she's always right. She even knows the names of all the Kaisers going back hundreds of years.

But sometimes when she talks about Jewish people her face gets ugly. I don't know how that happens because she is very beautiful, with soft blonde hair and blue eyes. She looks a bit like the photos of Mama even though those pictures are black and white.

But Fraulein Maria says Father is right about the Anschluss. I love Fraulein Maria with all my heart and I wish she would stay with us forever.

I don't understand why grown ups don't agree on big things like this. Frau Steinhauser has a photo of the German Fuhrer on her desk next to a flag with a black spider on it. She says we should all be proud that the glorious Third Reich is led by a heroic son of Austria. Sometimes when she talks about him she gets tears in her eyes and we all squirm with embarrassment at our desks. It's uncomfortable when grown-ups cry.

When Frau Steinhauser talks about Jewish people I feel so awful because I know my friend Lily has a Jewish mother and I feel so bad and ashamed. It makes me want to cry. I want to hug her because she looks both frightened and sad. She looks like she is trying to make herself invisible so that no one can see her.

Lily's mother has the kindest eyes and she lets me taste her delicious _hamantaschen_ cookies. But there is a sadness in her eyes as well – I don't know why she has to look so sad all the time. I wish she would just look happy like Fraulein Maria.

Fraulein Maria's smile is like the sun lighting up the whole sky and when she laughs it makes me feel warm and safe and I want to laugh too because it makes me so happy. Fraulein Maria has a laugh that makes everyone want to laugh, even Father sometimes. The first time I heard him laugh I was so surprised. It changed his whole face and made it look nice. And his eyes twinkled.

Lily's mother looks like she has not laughed in a long time and she often looks scared too. Once when I went to her house there was a heavy pounding on the door. Lily's mother made me and Lily hide in the upstairs cupboard. She said it was a game of hide and seek but I don't think it was. When she let us out she looked relieved. She said it was just the postman and we don't have to play hide and seek anymore.

I think she was scared it was one of the young men who hang around on the street outside. They have these horrible boots that make loud noises when they stomp around and they laugh a lot but it is a mean laugh not a happy one. They show all their teeth when they laugh - like fierce dogs, and their eyes are hard and angry.

They remind me of Josef in my class who is always looking for a fight with other boys. His father hits him a lot so he is always looking to hit someone back. He enjoys hurting the other children, kicking and pinching them until they cry and beg to be let free. Sometimes he chases the girls too but we keep out of his way as much as possible.

I hope he never picks on Lily because I am scared that I will never be brave enough to protect her. I am not brave like Father. He won lots of medals in the war long ago. I wish Father would come to my school and scold Josef so he would not be so mean anymore, and maybe he could scold the hateful young men outside Lily's house too. He is brave enough to do things like that.

I don't know why people seem to dislike Jewish people now. Fraulein Maria says it is wrong to dislike anyone and I think she is right. She says that when we have hate in our hearts we get ugly inside and it makes us feel bad, and it makes it easier to do bad things.

Everyone is so angry all the time now. Except Father. He is never angry any more though I did hear him shouting at Uncle Max recently. I get a worried feeling inside my tummy and I want to hide when he shouts. It reminds me of when he used to see us but not really _see_ us, as though he were far away somewhere where we cannot reach him even though he would be standing right in front of us.

He used to talk to the boys in an angry voice but he never did that with the girls even though I was always scared he would. When he made us line up my stomach always felt tight with worry and it hurt a lot. Sometimes I would start dreaming about the fairies that live under my bed so that I would not have to think about what was happening right then and then Father would get irritated that he had to repeat something to me.

Since Fraulein Maria came Father has changed so much. Liesl says he is back to the way he used to be before Mama died but I don't remember that. He kisses me and hugs me and carries me all the time now. It feels like heaven when he does that, like I am floating on a cloud of happiness. When he picks me up it feels like he is the strongest man in the world.

The first time he kissed me on the cheek it felt like butterfly wings on my face - so soft and delicate. I didn't want to wash my face ever afterwards but Fraulein Maria made me. She said not to worry Father has plenty more kisses for me for the rest of my life. When I hug him now I can hear the funny noises in his stomach and I can feel him breathing. He has a nice smell too.

Once when I sat on his lap on the terrace I even heard his heart beating. I still think about that a lot. Fraulein Maria had told me to show my drawing of a pony to him. I showed it to him and before I knew it he had pulled me onto his lap. I couldn't believe it but I kept talking and pretending nothing was happening in case he changed his mind and put me down again. He said it was a beautiful picture and I wanted to cry, which is silly because I was happy not sad. I remember that I very slowly and carefully leaned closer against him but he did not push me away, in fact his arm tightened around me.

I was so close that my cheek was resting on his chest and I could hear his heart beat steady and strong. The material of his shirt felt clean and crisp and I wanted to touch it with my fingers but I was scared to move in case everything changed. I wanted to stay like that forever. While I was looking at the knot in his tie – I had never been that close to it before - Frau Schmidt called us in for lunch.

I was so sad that I had to get off his lap. But then most wonderful thing happened. He carried me into the dining room! My face was so close to his neck I just hid it in there not even sure if I was dreaming. His skin smelt so nice, warm and clean. I couldn't speak to anyone for hours after that because I felt so happy.

I notice all these things because it is still so new to me when he holds me close. Brigitta says I won't notice it so much when he has hugged me for the hundredth time. Even now when he smiles at me I feel like my heart is going to burst with joy because there is so much love in his eyes.

The other night I asked Fraulein Maria about Jewish people and why people are mean to them. She and Father looked at each other for a moment and then she answered. It's funny that he did not look at Baroness Schrader who was sitting right there. Louisa told me once that he is thinking of marrying her because she is so pretty, but when it comes to anything to do with us it is always Fraulein Maria he talks to.

Fraulein Maria said it is terrible to be mean to anyone. Jewish people have a different religion from us but that does not matter. They are Austrians just like everyone else. Father added that the Nazis are blaming Jewish people for things that have nothing to do with them and that the awful thing was that people believe those lies. I did not know what a Nazi was but Father explained it quietly to us and there was a terrible sadness in his eyes, a bit like Lily's mother.

I wanted to run to him to hug him and comfort him and tell him everything would be alright but I wasn't brave enough. Father said it is a great shame on Austria that so many of its best artists, musicians, doctors, scientists and writers were leaving because they are Jewish and they are scared about what may happen in Austria.

Then he used that big word that I hear a lot now – Anshct schluss, I think. But I was proud that I knew a little bit about it from Frau Steinhauser so I told Father and Fraulein Maria how I knew it was going to be like a happy marriage and that Germany and Austria were like Prince Charming and Cinderella and were going to live happily ever after together. Father looked at me and again at Fraulein Maria and I could tell he did not agree but he did not get angry about it.

Fraulein Maria said that a lot of people believed that, but it was not true. She said that Austria is a beautiful country with its own wonderful history and music and art and it should stay on its own. She said the people who are leading Germany are bad people so it would not be a good marriage.

I thought about that for a long time, still puzzled why Frau Steinhauser and everyone else I knew seemed to think it would be a good marriage while only Father and Fraulein Maria – and Lily's mother probably, though I am not sure why - think it will be a terrible thing.

I asked Fraulein Maria about it when she was tucking me into bed. She said that Father was one of the bravest people in the world because he stands up for what is right when everyone else disagrees. And that just because a lot of people believe something it does not mean it is right.

She said one day when I am older I will realize how lucky I am to have such a courageous father who can see so clearly the difference between right and wrong and not be afraid to do the right thing. While I was thinking about this Father came in to kiss me and Gretl goodnight.

He does this every night now and it's why I don't mind bed times anymore. Gretl and I don't even fight anymore at bedtime. As he kissed me, I suddenly felt very brave. I felt so proud that he was my father so I flung my arms around him before I had time to think about it and stop myself. I held tightly to his neck and he held me tightly back and I could hear him swallow something. Maybe there was something stuck in his throat because I could hear him swallow again.

We stayed like that a long time and when I let go I could see Fraulein Maria was watching us with what looked like a shimmer of tears in her eyes which was puzzling. She and Father exchanged a look. I couldn't see Father's face, but Fraulein Maria looked at Father the way she does at us sometimes – the look that tells us that she loves us with all her heart, forever and ever.

Then they both wished us a good night.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm updating this for International Holocaust Remembrance Day which is held on January 27th each year (the anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz). You don't need to have read chapter 1 to read this chapter.**

 **A very big thank you to the amazingly awesome augiesannie for reading the draft and providing very helpful advice, as well as being so encouraging.**

 **oooooOOOOoooo**

 _Whoever saves one life saves the world entire_ (Talmud)

I wish Father would not read the paper, because he always looks so fierce afterwards. I don't understand why he keeps reading it if it makes him feel so bad.

We were sitting on the terrace last week when something happened that I am still trying to understand.

We were having morning tea after our lessons when Father folded his paper and threw it down. He scraped back his chair in an angry way and the noise hurt my ears and gave me a fright. As he stood looking over the lake, Baroness Schrader went over to him and touched his arm. He nodded at her and pretended to smile, but really his mouth just moved for a moment, and then he looked back at the water.

Fraulein Maria glanced at the paper. There must have been something that caught her eye because she looked at it more closely then asked me casually, "Marta, which street does your friend Lily live on?"

I had told her all about my friend Lily many times, and we had seen Lily once at the zoo with her mother. Lily is half Jewish. I thought for a minute and then remembered "Muellheimer Strasser," I said, proud to have remembered.

Father turned around and he looked at Fraulein Maria like he was asking her a question. Father and Fraulein Maria have developed this funny way of talking to each other without saying anything. They just look at each other and they seem to know what the other one said.

I tried it with Gretl once but it didn't work. She did not understand that I was trying to tell her that cook had promised to make strudel. I even wiggled my eyebrows at her but she just looked at me blankly, then she got annoyed and said she thought it was a silly game to try to talk with your eyes and she had flounced off.

Anyway, Fraulein Maria said "Captain, if I could perhaps have a word with you please?"

Father nodded immediately. He always sees Fraulein Maria whenever she wants. I am so happy they are friends now because when she first came he did not like her. I was so scared he would send her away. She used to talk back to him when he used his fierce voice and I wished she wouldn't in case it would make him even madder.

I even told her this once when Father was away in Vienna. I whispered in her ear at bedtime that she should just keep quiet when Father spoke otherwise he would get boiling mad. She just smiled and kissed me and said not to worry about her - she would find a way to talk to Father.

I wasn't convinced but amazingly she managed to do it after we all fell into the lake. Every time I remember how angry he was I get a cramp in my stomach and I even had a nightmare about it once. But then it was like a miracle because he sang with us and hugged us afterwards. I remember we all felt we were in a dream because none of us could believe it, but from then on everything changed.

But back to my story. Father said "Elsa, please excuse me for a moment, Max." Then he and Fraulein Maria went to his study. They were in there for a long time. When they came out, to my astonishment, Fraulein Maria said that we were going to visit Lily – and even Father was coming.

I couldn't believe it. I was so excited that I forgot to ask why we were going in the first place. My brothers and sisters looked envious that I was going in the car with Father.

Father said sorry to Baroness Schrader and kissed her on the cheek. He said he had to attend to something and would be back soon. She smiled at him but the smile disappeared as soon as he was not looking. She didn't look happy. I guess she wasn't invited to come, but then I couldn't imagine her standing in her beautiful clothes in Lily's family's tiny apartment. I don't think she would know what to say to them anyway even though they are the nicest people in the world.

Then it dawned on me that I didn't know why Father was going either. It was puzzling. Should I ask them or wait and see? I wondered if it had something to do with Lily's mother being Jewish.

Fraulein Maria had the window down in the car and I loved the feeling of the breeze on my skin as I watched the countryside racing by. Father and Fraulein Maria were talking quietly and using real words for once. I pretended I wasn't listening but I really was. I didn't understand much though. Something about the Synagogue.

As we drove close to Lily's street, I told Fraulein Maria about the horrid young men who hang around on the street, and that sometimes when school was still in before the holidays, Lily could not come because she and her mother were too worried about walking past the mean young men. As I said this I saw Father get that angry look on his face – the one where his mouth would become so thin like a slit that you could not see his lips any more, and his cheekbones would get tight and his jaw would clench.

The street was quiet as we walked, with only the sounds of our shoes on the pavement. Not even the birds were singing, and somehow the silence seemed frightening. I wondered if people were watching us from all the buildings. I shivered even though the sun was warm on my cheeks. I was glad I was with Father because he is not scared of anything.

We saw some groups of young men watching us silently, menacingly, like wolves in the night. Father looked them straight in the eye and I was surprised that some of them dropped their eyes. It is funny, because Friedrich has a book about wolves and he told me that that is exactly how wolf packs behave. The boss wolf out-stares the other wolves to show who is in charge.

Father walked over to two policemen who were also on the street.

One of the policemen said to Father in a bossy kind of way "Sir you should not be on this street. You know what happened yesterday, there could be more trouble."

Father said in his quiet voice that was somehow very strong at the same time. "My name is Captain von Trapp."

I watched as the policemen looked amazed. One of them even had his mouth open. I felt proud that Father was so famous and hoped the policemen would realize he is my father, but they didn't even look at me. The policemen were suddenly very respectful.

"Baron, it is such a pleasure to meet you sir. I read so much about you and your U-boat when I was a boy sir. And your lovely wife, the Baroness." They bowed respectfully to Fraulein Maria not realizing that she is not Father's wife. That would have made me giggle normally, except everything seemed so deadly serious right then.

Father did not say anything to that but continued in his quiet voice, that somehow managed to be as strong as if he were shouting. "What happened yesterday, shames all of Austria. Is this what our great country has come to? _God in heaven_ , what has become of us when women and children cannot even walk on their own street without intimidation? This is not the Austria that I know. You were trained as police to protect and defend our way of life, and the Austrian Nazi Party is still strictly banned after they assassinated the Chancellor, yet these thugs are allowed to roam the streets at will, burning a synagogue and attacking innocent people."

"But Baron von Trapp," one of the policemen protested, "it is so difficult, we do our best, but sometimes our seniors do not want us to pursue things…" he trailed off at the look on Father's face.

Father said again in that quiet firm voice "I ask you only to do your duty as honorable men, to protect and serve and defend all of Austria's citizens, whatever their religion."

The two policemen said "yes sir" and they looked uncomfortable. I wondered if they suddenly felt ashamed. I knew how they felt because Father sometimes does that to us when we have done something wrong. It feels so embarrassing that I want to crawl away and hide sometimes. The shame of it eats into your stomach for a long time afterwards.

I pointed out Lily's building and we went inside the heavy door.

We climbed the four flights of stairs, our footsteps echoing in the dark dusty stairwells. Father found the right door and knocked and waited. When no one answered he knocked several times more. Then he called through the door "My name is Captain von Trapp and I am the father of Marta, please open the door."

Immediately there was the sound of metal bolts being scraped across and the door opened a fraction. Lily's mother peered out through the chain. I said hallo shyly and when she saw me she opened the door properly and opened her arms to me. I ran to her as she knelt down to my level, throwing my arms around her. I suddenly felt the need to show her how much I liked her.

Father took off his hat in his usual polite way with ladies. "Madam, please forgive us for intruding on you, your telephone does not work. I am Captain von Trapp, Marta's father. I believe you have met Marta's governess Fraulein Maria. We heard what happened yesterday with the Synagogue and with the family on this street and we came to offer our help. May we come in?"

Lily's mother's eyes were already red but she got tears in them again, but I think they were happy tears though. "Oh Captain von Trapp it is such an honour to meet you, and you are so very kind to come all this way. We love Marta dearly and we knew she must come from a special family because she is such a sweet girl. Please do come in. I am sorry we did not answer at first but well….".

"Of course Madam, I did not expect you to." Father put out his hand to Lily's father who was standing inside.

I had never seen Lily's father before because he had always been at work when I visited. He had nice brown eyes, but like Lily's mother they had a sad, worried look. He shook hands with Father and bowed to Fraulein Maria. "Captain von Trapp it is indeed an honour for you to visit us in our humble home," he said.

He had a different way of saying his German words, so I wondered where he was from. But Father must have known because he immediately asked if he was Czech. And then to my astonishment Father spoke to him in his own language. They went through to another room leaving the rest of us in the living room.

Somehow Fraulein Maria had her arms around Lily's mother as if they had been best friends for years and years, even though they had only met once before. Fraulein Maria is like that, people just love her as soon as they see her. I know I did. I am so glad that she was now friends with Lily's mother because if anyone can make her happy it is Fraulein Maria – that is the thing she is best at.

They sent me and Lily off to the bedroom that she shared with her siblings. We talked, but Lily seemed very quiet. I asked if she knew what was going on but she shook her head, she just said something bad happened yesterday on the street but no one would tell her what.

I told her about the song that Fraulein Maria taught us when we are scared or sad, and we giggled as we thought of our favourite things. Lily said her favourite thing was the monkey at the zoo who wears a dress and drinks tea from a cup, and we both rolled on the floor laughing until our stomachs hurt. We played with her porcelain doll with the wide open eyes and then forgot about what the grown ups were doing in the pleasure of the game.

While we were in the middle of the game, Fraulein Maria walked in with Lily's mother. I could see our fathers standing further back talking quietly.

Fraulein Maria said "Marta, sweetheart, we have to go now, and you need to say a very big goodbye to Lily now because they are going away for a while. Give her a big hug."

At first I could not understand this and just stared at her. Then, out of my control I felt my face crumpling into tears even though I did not want to cry in front of everyone. I felt shocked and sad, as well as horrified that everyone would see me cry. That made me cry more.

"But why?" I asked through my tears. "Where is she going, why can't she stay?" I could hear Lily echoing my words as she started to cry too.

Fraulein Maria crouched down and held me tight while I sobbed and Lily did the same with her mother. Through my tears I turned to Lily and held her hand. Then Lily and I hugged each other as we wept together. It felt so awful, I never want to have to say goodbye like that again. We stayed hugging each other for a long time, little sobs escaping from us.

From the corner of my eyes I could see that our fathers were silent and staring at their shoes.

After a while Fraulein Maria gently drew us apart. She picked me up even though I know I am too heavy for her but she did not seem to mind as she made that funny 'Ohh' sound whenever she carries me or Gretl.

Lily's parents were also nearly in tears as they said goodbye to Father and Fraulein Maria. Her father shook Father's hand over and over again, saying he could not thank Father enough, but I am not sure what for. Lily's mother hugged Fraulein Maria tightly and said it was so wonderful that there are such kind people in the world. I heard her say something about sending the money back but Father said he wouldn't hear of it. I couldn't catch his exact words but I remember something like the shame is on Austria that they must leave their home.

Lily's mother cupped my face and kissed me and said she and Lily would never forget me, which made me start crying again.

Father looked at me being carried by Fraulein Maria. I thought he would scold me and say that seven year old girls should not be crying and being carried like babies. But he didn't. To my surprise he held out his arms so that he could carry me instead. At first I refused since Fraulein Maria's arms are the nicest place in the world to be, but then I remembered that I like being carried by Father too. He carried me down the stairs.

I blinked in the bright sunshine after the darkness of inside. Father put me down and I held his hand and I grasped Fraulein Maria's hand with my other one as I skipped between them. I forgot about Lily and my sadness for a moment in the niceness of being alone with the two of them. I even ignored the horrid young men loitering on the corner.

Sometimes I have secret daydreams that Fraulein Maria is my mother and that she will stay with us forever so I pretended for a bit that we were a family of three going for an outing. Then I remembered that Louisa said that Father is probably going to marry Baroness Schrader. I couldn't imagine skipping along like this with her and it made me sad.

When we got into the car Fraulein Maria and Father both let out big sighs. Father put his elbows on the steering wheel and looked out of the windscreen as his face started to relax. He and Fraulein Maria looked at each other using their silent language again and then they smiled.

Fraulein Maria said quietly, "You did something good Captain."

Father used that gentle voice that he often uses with Fraulein Maria these days, "No Fraulein, _we_ did something good, together."

After that they started talking to each other in their silent language and they must have been saying nice things because Father's eyes were so warm and peaceful and I could feel Fraulein Maria holding her breath.

On the way home I sat on Fraulein Maria's lap again in the front seat. The window was down again and Fraulien Maria's hair was mussed up, blowing in the breeze, but it made her laugh. I thought it made her look extra pretty. Father asked her if he should put the window up and I was glad when she said no she liked it.

It must have made Father want to try it too because he took his hat off and tossed it on the back seat. His hair got ruffled too, hanging all over his forehead – I stared at him in surprise because I had never seen him look anything but tidy. He chuckled as he tapped me playfully on the nose and he seemed very light-hearted all of a sudden. It makes me so happy when he laughs – he never used to before Fraulein Maria came.

Soon I was lost in my thoughts and I suddenly asked Fraulein Maria what language Father had spoken.

She smiled, teasing me, "Why don't you ask Father yourself since he is right next to you?" She knows that sometimes for no reason I still feel shy with Father and the words get stuck inside me and won't come out no matter how much I try to make them.

Father smiled at me, and his eyes were twinkling. "It is Czech. I know it because when I was in the Imperial Navy all the officers had to know as many of the 11 languages of the Austro-Hungarian Empire as possible. I only knew 4 of them but some of my friends knew 7 or 8. I also know Croatian since the majority of my crew were from what is now Croatia so I was required under Navy rules to speak to them in their own language."

Then I asked where Lily was going. Fraulein Maria said they are going to Czechoslovakia because things are becoming so bad for Jewish people in Austria and would get worse if the Anschluss came. From there they would try get to America where it is safe. I said a small silent prayer for Lily the way Fraulein Maria had taught me to. I hoped God would be kind to her the way he has been with me.

Fraulein Maria had told me once that Jewish people have a different religion. I don't know if that means they have a different God looking after them - it's a bit confusing sometimes - but I hoped with all me heart they would finally be happy the way we are as a family now.

All of a sudden I remembered something and started giggling, putting my hand to my mouth as I snuggled into Fraulein Maria. "Wasn't it funny when that policeman called you Baroness and he thought you were Father's wife?"

Fraulein Maria laughed too but for some reason she seemed embarrassed and her face started changing colour. Brigitta says that Fraulein Maria's cheeks go red only when Father is around.

I looked at Father. He was staring at the road, but I could see a small smile on his mouth - he must have thought it was funny too. Then I wondered if Baroness Schrader would find it funny.

Father turned his head to look at both of us for a moment and his eyes were as soft as summer rain. He looked back at the road and then there was a long silence in the car because both he and Fraulein Maria seemed distracted.

When we got back Father and Fraulein Maria had to spend some time tidying their hair before they got out of the car and I was puzzled why they both looked like Kurt does when he has played a trick - a mix of happy, guilty and embarrassed.

I could tell that Gretl was furious and jealous. I stayed out of her way because she can be fierce when she is angry and worse, she can scream until your ears hurt. Luckily Fraulein Maria seemed to realize that Gretl needed her so they went off together to play alone for a while.

I saw Baroness Schrader give Father a kiss on the cheek. She put her hand on Father's arm playfully and teased him "You are such a darling, rescuing people, saving lives. Always the hero."

I could tell that made Father uncomfortable because he scratched his neck and he looked like his collar was too tight. Baroness Schrader does not know Father as well as we do otherwise she wouldn't say things like that. He cleared his throat and smiled politely and then started talking about the show they were going to see that night.

Later, all my brothers and sisters asked me what had happened, and I felt very important as I told them what I knew but I was not quite able to make much sense of it all. It was like a puzzle with lots of pieces missing. The main thing that stuck with me was that Lily was leaving and it felt like a horrible big rock sitting on my chest whenever I thought of it. I missed her already and started to cry. Liesl comforted me, she is almost as good as Fraulein Maria but not quite.

ooooOOOOOooooOOOOOoooo

 ** _Thirty years later, 1968, Vermont, USA_**

Only now am I starting to understand what happened in Austria when I was a little girl. I still don't know what happened to Lily and her family though I think of them often. I hope with all my heart they survived, though I know that only a few months after the Anschluss in March 1938 the Nazis invaded Czechoslovakia where they had fled.

We ourselves fled too when the Anschluss came, and it would be 18 very long months after the Anschluss that Britain, France and Commonwealth countries declared war on Germany in 1939. But we were lucky enough to get to America. I still say a prayer for Lily and her family every night just the way Fraulein Maria taught me to when I was a child, and I can only hope they made it to America too with the money that Father gave them.

Some dreams do come true - Father did marry Fraulein Maria and she became our new mother. She was the greatest source of Father's strength in the terribly difficult challenges they faced. All our hearts are filled with gratitude at the love and joy she has brought to our family. They also added three more wonderful babies to our family.

Even now thirty years later, they still speak their silent language to each other and they have so much love and tenderness in their eyes when they do it. They make each other laugh all the time and there is a lot of teasing. It makes me smile when I see them together, holding hands like teenagers and still stealing kisses when they think no one is looking, as if we were still children.

In all these years I think they have only rarely been apart. It is as if they have a constant need to be physically in each other's presence. Even when my youngest brother was born Father was desperate for Mother to come out of hospital as soon as possible, because he couldn't bear to be apart from her for more than one night.

Father's hair is grey now but his eyes are still piercing and he stands tall and distinguished because of his military bearing. Mother teases him that he is the town's heart-throb, and it is amusing to see how bowled over some of the local ladies are by his old world manners and handsome looks.

Mother too is lovely and her sparkling blue eyes are always filled with a grace and kindness and an inner radiance that gives her a luminous, almost unearthly beauty. Just like thirty years ago people immediately fall in love with her warm, vibrant, engaging personality as soon as they meet her.

Father and Mother gave us the gift of a loving happy childhood. They sheltered us from their worries – and there must have been a great many since we arrived as penniless refugees in a new country, with a large family. But while we may have been rich when we lived in Austria, we were far richer in America. We did not have many material things, but we did have love, lots of it and we had safety and we had democracy where people can say what they wish without fear of being put in prison or being beaten on the street.

Although we had lost everything, we could not have been happier and we all felt the great pride in our achievements as we worked hard on our farm in Vermont which reminds us so much of the beautiful mountains of Austria. We cannot express our gratitude enough for this country that took us in when we were so desperate and welcomed us and helped us rebuild our lives from nothing.

My siblings and I often talk about what might have happened if we had stayed in Austria. We all believe that our first mother saved Father's life and saved us all by sending our new mother to us at just the right moment. If Father had married his fiance Baroness Shrader it is unlikely that he would have escaped with all of us – it was Mother who gave him the strength to do that, and Mama who was watching over us and protecting us.

Nor would he have ever compromised his beliefs and integrity by joining the Third Reich. Instead he probably would have ended up being one of the courageous 72,000 people arrested within days of the Anschluss for opposing the Nazis, many of whom were executed or perished in the hard labour prison camps. My brothers would have been forced into the Nazi armed forces and I cannot imagine what would have happened to us girls.

But instead we were given the chance to come to America, and although we had to stay on Ellis Island in detention for awhile we were eventually allowed to stay. After the United States joined the war in December 1941 after Pearl Harbour, my brothers were able to proudly don the uniform of the United States Armed Forces and serve in Italy, where they, like a whole generation of young men from so many many countries, helped to save the world.

After the war we all closely followed the Nuremburg Trials where the worst Nazi war criminals were put on trial, though Hitler, Himmler and Goebbels had commited suicide before they were captured. I still feel proud and amazed when I think that the Allies valued justice so much they guaranteed this right to a trial to those who had denied it to millions of others, and allowed them the chance to defend the indefensible.

Goering of course was unrepentent, but others such as Speer, Keitel and even Seyss-Inquart who had orchestrated the Anschluss spoke of their terrible shame and remorse as they were found guilty of Crimes Against Humanity.

It was only at the Nuremburg Trials that the world really woke up to the sheer scale and horror of the Holocaust: six million Jewish people murdered and on top of that millions of political opponents, Roma people, disabled people, homosexuals, the old and the sick were exterminated in the camps.

We all saw for the first time the pictures of the concentration camps at the Trials and I could not bear to see the sunken eyes and emaciated faces of the survivors – wondering if Lily and her family were among them. I know now that 265,000 Jewish people from Czechoslovakia died in Auschwitz and Treblinka – names that will live forever in infamy. Even in a thousand years people will still weep over what happened.

I try not to think that that was Lily's fate because otherwise I will start crying and never stop. I still think about our last chat together where we talked about our favourite things to keep our fears at bay, and I wonder still if that gave her any comfort in whatever she had to face.

Her face continues to haunt me in my dreams. My most frequent nightmare is the one that is like the story of Theseus and the Minotaur, where we are trapped in a labyrinth with a ferocious beast waiting to devour us. Whenever I reach out to her in my dreams I cannot grasp her fingers and I always wake up with my pillow soaked with tears.

Even before the Anschluss, Austria lost its artistic, musical, literary and intellectual heart as many of its most gifted Jewish citizens fled into exile in the 1930s. Among them were no less than three Nobel Prize winners in science and many world renowned composers, philosphers, authors and artists. Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis almost left it too late, but was able to make the perilous journey from Vienna to London, desperately ill with cancer where he died a few weeks later at the age of 83.

All of us siblings are still struggling to comprehend what happened in the country of our birth. We have seen the pictures of the hundreds of thousands of people joyously welcoming the Nazi troops who invaded our country, greeting them with flowers and cheers.

What had happened in Germany five years previously happened in Austria with the public humilation of our Jewish citizens within hours of the Anschluss. The playwright Carl Zuckmayer wrote that in Vienna it was as if "Hades had opened its gates and vomited forth the basest, most despicable, most horrible demons."

The Nuremburg Laws were put into immediate effect – banning Jewish children and students from our schools and universities, confiscating homes and businesses and removing Jewish professionals from their posts. The lucky ones managed to escape into exile, while most of those who remained would eventually end up in the concentration camps.

How could it be that ordinary people could have participated in such monstrous crimes – we still ask ourselves this. Although some people were clearly evil, there were many others – good decent people, unwittingly duped into becoming pawns in this unspeakable atrocity.

Friedrich read a book by Hannah Arendt called 'The Banality of Evil' which was based on a study of the trial of Adolf Eichmann – the architect of the Final Solution for the Jewish people. Eichmann described himself as a good family man, a loving husband and father, who was just doing his job as a bureaucrat, following orders without question and not thinking beyond the scope of his work. He therefore felt no sense of personal responsibility for what happened.

While this was not true of Eichmann, who clearly knew more than he pretended, it was probably true of the many millions of Austrians and Germans who were hoodwinked by the Third Reich's propaganda and blindly obeyed authority. It helps me understand a little how good people can do bad things unwittingly and that evil is not necessarily perpetuated only by those who are violently insane.

I am so happy therefore when I hear my own beautiful American children arguing boisterously, freely expressing their opinions and being unafraid to question authority. For me and my siblings, America remains a beacon of hope and justice where the most basic freedoms and rights are guaranteed under the law.

It also fills my heart with joy that my children have firm views about right and wrong, just as their grandfather taught me when I was a little girl.

And it restores my faith in humanity when I hear of people who did stand up to evil and refused to be seduced by the politics of hate. That was one Father's favourite philosophical quotes from Burke: 'All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.'

It gives me such hope when I hear stories of people who, at great risk to themselves, saved others: _Oskar Schindler_ , a German industrialist who saved one thousand Jews by recruiting them into his factories; _Raoul Wallenberg_ a Swedish diplomat who saved 20,000 Hungarian Jews by giving them Swedish passports then later went missing; _Nicholas Winton_ , an Englishman who rescued hundreds of children from the Holocaust by sending them on the _Kindertransport_ to safety in England; _Ho Feng-Shan_ , the Chinese Consul in Vienna who, at risk of his own life after the Anschluss issued thousands of visas to Austrian Jews desperate to escape the country.

In the same way, _Aristides de Sousa Mendes_ , the Portuguese Consul in France, issued thousands of visas - working day and night - to fleeing Jews and non-Jews alike after the Nazis invaded France in May 1940. He kept open one of the only escape routes out of fortress Europe, and amongst those he saved was our own former Crown Prince Otto von Habsburg. For his efforts he was sacked and shamed by his government and died penniless and ostracised in his home country.

Then there was the small heroic country of Denmark, which, when it was informed by its Nazi occupiers that Danish Jews would have to wear the yellow Star of David, responded that every Dane including the King would wear it. And when the orders came for the deportation of Jews, ordinary Danes hid them in their homes and then smuggled them in fishing boats at night across to neutral Sweden, thus saving 99 percent of them.

Bulgaria too saved its Jewish citizens, firstly by Orthodox Christian leaders forging baptismal papers for thousands of Jewish Bulgarian facing deportation, and then when the deportation trains rumbled in a national outcry was sparked. Bulgarian citizens, intellectuals and clergy protested vociferously against their collaborating government and threatened to lie down in front of the trains. The deportation orders were cancelled.

All these people and many hundreds more are now being recognised by the _Yad Vashem_ with the award of Righteous Among the Nations – an honour given to non-Jews who had the extraordinary courage to fight against the tide of madness and moral collapse to save Jewish lives from the Holocaust.

I can only hope with all my heart that Father's actions saved Lily and her family though I will never know for sure.

Soon we will celebrate Mother's and Father's 30th wedding anniversary, where they will be proudly surrounded by all their children and adoring grandchildren, in the country that has become their home.

They will dance the laendler as they do every year on their anniversary and they will look into each other's eyes as if no-one else in the world exists. Just like last year Father will make a speech about how Mother's bravery and beauty haunt him still and he will thank her for coming to his rescue every day of his life.*

And we will all raise a toast to this couple who had the courage to say so clearly what was right and what was wrong at a time when few others around them did, and who were willing to give up everything to keep their principles.

ooooOOOoooo

 **A/N**

 **I've tried to make this as historically accurate as possible, including that the eldest von Trapp brothers (who were older than Friedrich and Kurt) served in Italy in the war. What is fictional is Lily and her family, and although the real Captain and Maria had twenty years of marriage together he did not live long enough to become a grandfather.**

 *** I could not resist using the words from Christopher Plummer's lovely 2012 Oscars and Golden Globes acceptance speeches honouring his wife of 43 years.**

 **A bit of this has echoes of the unfinished story 'Dilemma of a good man' which I will complete one day.**

 **Feedback, thoughts, criticisms are all welcome.**

 **I do not own TSOM**


End file.
